lonely

Wonder if it's because people around me are getting attached or getting married. Suddenly I feel so bored and lonely. Even after I spend great times with other friends, I feel a sense of emptiness.

After spending crazy hours murdering my own livers.
After my modesty got outraged (slightly).
After filling in blanks of my so-called empty hours.
I finally realized, I'm just on the path of ruining and deceiving myself.

Recalling back, was it all worth it?
They say, it takes 5 years to build an empire and just 5 minutes to destroy it. I think that totally describes me now.
It could merely be small changes, but it means a whole lot of crap to me.
1. Dark eye rings
2. Weight gain
3. Lesser self-respect
4. Inability to concentrate
5. Nonsensical thoughts
Blah blah blah..

For a moment, I realized how much I hate myself now.
Good thing was, lucky in times of crisis, I can fall back on the trust of my colleagues. (people I never thought I could count on, especially my buddy) - he don't read my entries anyway, haha!
But still appreciate it so much, though he's always making jokes outta me. :)

It's time to tune back my life.
Thanks to those who turned my life upside down and especially to those who tried to keep me on track. <3

Life is really full of ups and downs.
What a journey I've been thru so far.

- howlled from iPhone