Mood: 
Sad
Music: 阿沁 - 其实还爱你
Wonder if its just me or do all girls feel or act the same way.
All of a sudden, I feel so sad. :(
I feel like locking myself in a dark room, all by myself and cry to myself.
Ever since I started working in this current company, I realised I became a very pessimistic person. This is really bad, because I know myself that I was never like that. It seemed like my future stopped here. Its a full-stop now.
At the same time, I'm really grateful for my family and friends who've been encouraging and supporting me. My engine regenerates again.
I wondered if I've become a stronger person physically and spiritually.
This afternoon, lunch was in the canteen as usual.
A jokingly-like conversation was started by my colleague:
Colleague: "Hey Val, you shouldn't wear that sweater, it makes you look even..."
and he made that size kinda impression
Me: "Fatter is it? It's cold, no choice. Anyway I'm already big sized and fat, it doesn't really matter if I took my sweater off or not."
I got him mummed at that moment.
It was like oil adding to the fire, because I was already feeling very sian at work and was having a headache. Can't exactly blame him 'coz he didn't know how I felt, but still, I found it so annoying. And it isn't like he is so fit or skinny. *roll eyes*
I believe in "SIZE DOES MATTER", as stated by the "200 Pound Beauty" korean movie air-ing now in theatres. Size DOES matter. Everyone should stop deceiving ourselves and others.
Stop telling a person she/he is okay when she/he isn't!
And most of all, STOP telling a person she/he isn't okay when she/he is just fine!
Plastic surgery may be the easiest way out, but I always think it isn't a very honourable thing to do.
Take for example, if I went for plastic surgery to slim down. I think I'll most likely keep to myself and try to hide this secret from others. BUT if I slimmed down naturally, I will feel so accomplished an proud of myself. It's the feeling I'm talking about.
And what's with comparing of numbers? Your weight?
I've come to convinced myself that its just numbers. Because muscles weigh more than fats in your body. As long as a person looks toned and fit, it's! Why should girls be always hassled by just a number?
I may be speaking out but inside me, I feel miserable about myself.
I dare to say, but when I'm done with my speech, I'll feel the same again.
I'll start thinking and brainstorming what a person had just commented on me. What a miserable feeling.
How I wished I was someone stronger, someone who can take things and let go of things easily. Someone whose very confident and sure of herself.
22 years of my life was lead in such a miserable way, I feel sad for myself.
It's feel like a quicksand, once I step into it, I sink deeper and deeper in.
Who can save me out of this quicksand?
Am I suffering from some physchological illness?
Pathetic life.
SadMusic: 阿沁 - 其实还爱你
Wonder if its just me or do all girls feel or act the same way.
All of a sudden, I feel so sad. :(
I feel like locking myself in a dark room, all by myself and cry to myself.
Ever since I started working in this current company, I realised I became a very pessimistic person. This is really bad, because I know myself that I was never like that. It seemed like my future stopped here. Its a full-stop now.
At the same time, I'm really grateful for my family and friends who've been encouraging and supporting me. My engine regenerates again.
I wondered if I've become a stronger person physically and spiritually.
This afternoon, lunch was in the canteen as usual.
A jokingly-like conversation was started by my colleague:
Colleague: "Hey Val, you shouldn't wear that sweater, it makes you look even..."
and he made that size kinda impression
Me: "Fatter is it? It's cold, no choice. Anyway I'm already big sized and fat, it doesn't really matter if I took my sweater off or not."
I got him mummed at that moment.
It was like oil adding to the fire, because I was already feeling very sian at work and was having a headache. Can't exactly blame him 'coz he didn't know how I felt, but still, I found it so annoying. And it isn't like he is so fit or skinny. *roll eyes*
I believe in "SIZE DOES MATTER", as stated by the "200 Pound Beauty" korean movie air-ing now in theatres. Size DOES matter. Everyone should stop deceiving ourselves and others.
Stop telling a person she/he is okay when she/he isn't!
And most of all, STOP telling a person she/he isn't okay when she/he is just fine!
Plastic surgery may be the easiest way out, but I always think it isn't a very honourable thing to do.
Take for example, if I went for plastic surgery to slim down. I think I'll most likely keep to myself and try to hide this secret from others. BUT if I slimmed down naturally, I will feel so accomplished an proud of myself. It's the feeling I'm talking about.
And what's with comparing of numbers? Your weight?
I've come to convinced myself that its just numbers. Because muscles weigh more than fats in your body. As long as a person looks toned and fit, it's! Why should girls be always hassled by just a number?
I may be speaking out but inside me, I feel miserable about myself.
I dare to say, but when I'm done with my speech, I'll feel the same again.
I'll start thinking and brainstorming what a person had just commented on me. What a miserable feeling.
How I wished I was someone stronger, someone who can take things and let go of things easily. Someone whose very confident and sure of herself.
22 years of my life was lead in such a miserable way, I feel sad for myself.
It's feel like a quicksand, once I step into it, I sink deeper and deeper in.
Who can save me out of this quicksand?
Am I suffering from some physchological illness?
Pathetic life.
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